Entry 8: "This is all Your Fault"

When people know someone who has a mental illness, it becomes so easy for them to use them as their scapegoat.

This is a post for one of my friends, but I know that almost everyone I know who suffers from a mental illness have always experienced this.

"This is all your fault." This phrase can get thrown out during arguments all the time. I remember just this year when someone verbally attacked me; her exact words were, "This is all your fault, all of my problems, all of my stress and anxiety is your fault. You are the cause of all of my problems."

The best way to negate someone who truly believes that is to smile through the pain. Keep smiling through the pain, even if the tears come, be strong. Be Strong! 

When people know someone who has a mental illness, it becomes so easy for them to use them as their scapegoat.

This is a post for one of my friends, but I know that almost everyone I know who suffers from a mental illness have always experienced this.

"This is all your fault." This phrase can get thrown out during arguments all the time. I remember just this year when someone verbally attacked me; her exact words were, "This is all your fault, all of my problems, all of my stress and anxiety is your fault. You are the cause of all of my problems."

With family fights, “If she didn’t have all these problems we wouldn’t even be arguing right now! It’s all her fault!” OR how about when it’s about money, “Gosh! Because of her being mentally sick, which is bullshit; we are trying to pay off so many hospital bills. This is all her fault.”

Siblings, “My sister is such a freak, she has all these problems and she says it’s because she’s sick but mentally sick doesn’t count because that’s not sick she’s making it up. She’s ruining my life.”

This is all your fault

That is all your fault

We spend too much time tearing people down. When someone is diagnosed with a mental illness, it doesn’t change who they are.

Yes, we have a mental illness: BUT THAT ISN’T OUR FAULT.

Yes, we have a mental illness: BUT WE DON’T CAUSE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS

Quite honestly, if you think that we are causing your problems you need to rethink what your problems are. Because you are the only one who can let something affect you in a negative way.

NONE OF THIS IS OUR FAULT.

We are sick not by choice. Think of it this way, would you ever tell someone with cancer that it’s their fault they have cancer? Are they causing you problems because they have a disease?! Most everyone is going to say, “Well no! It’s not your fault you are sick!”

SO… why would you tell someone with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, psychosis, multiple personality disorder, self-harm, anorexia/bulimia that it is THEIR FAULT. It’s not.

This is part of the stigma that we need to work on fighting. Mental illnesses and mental health disorders are NOT a choice. NOT a choice.

To everyone who has ever been told, “This is your fault,”: stand your ground. Nothing can change the fact that you are sick, but you are not sick out of choice. Why would someone choose to be sick? Why would someone choose to have a mental illness? We wouldn’t. We are fighters. We didn’t choose this life.

But, we are choosing to fight against it; and that is our fault. We are choosing to fight. We are choosing to live. We are choosing to love, to grow, to succeed, even if we do have a mental illness.

Stay strong! I’ll leave you with this quote:

“Sometimes you just have to be brave. You have to be strong. Sometimes you just can’t give in to weak thoughts. You have to beat down those devils that get inside your head and try to make you panic. You struggle along, putting one foot a little bit ahead of the other.”