Entry 16: Netflix

A healthy coping skill to me, is something that can take your mind off of the situation at hand. Something that will allow you time to put your energy into some other activity so you don’t boil all of the negatives in your life. Different people use different coping skills: some do physical activity like working out or playing a sport, or just going out to run. Others need to have their hands moving so they don’t pick or scratch or cut or pull.  Still others like to meditate or participate in yoga or prayer. Others need to do anything to occupy their minds.

Myself, I do a combination depending on what emotion I am feeling. Usually, I turn on Netflix and also work on homework or work on crafting projects.

This is because there is so much just going on in life, and especially in my life right now; it’s so helpful to lose myself in a show. Something that I can watch every day, all day if I please, and identify with a character and just let all my worries go.

I have been so many people, in so many different shows. I have lived in so many different worlds with different stories and different purposes. My shows have been: Parenthood, Medium, Criminal Minds, House, Grey’s Anatomy, Boys over Flowers, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Army Wives, Vampire Diaries, Orange is the New Black, Making a Murderer, Bates Motel, American Horror Story and The Fosters. (But there are more than likely other shows I have seen and can’t think of at the moment)

Okay, so my favorite shows have been Grey’s Anatomy, Parenthood, Medium and Criminal Minds, and House.

In Grey’s Anatomy I associated myself with Meredith Grey.

Parenthood, I associated myself with Julia.

Medium, I associated with Bridget Dubois.

Criminal Minds, I associated with JJ.

House I associated with Cuddy.

So I have been a ton of different people. My favorite person I have been is Bridget Dubois. She was a sassy, fast, intelligent, tough, independent, honest and fun little girl. She brought so much joy and smiles to my face throughout the past 5-6 months! She has taught me to be resilient. To stand my ground. To believe in myself. To live my life with strength and to never back down. To always look for humor in the toughest situations. She is the brightest little thing and she makes sure everyone knows it.

All of these characters gave me a reason to live. Honestly. I would not be able to forgive myself if I didn’t finish all of these shows to the end and see how life turns out for us.

It’s easy to abuse Netflix, but it’s so easy to let it help you. It’s so easy to devote yourself to a show and have it be the reason why you are here. Obviously, it’s extremely sad if the only reason you are living is because of a show. BUT it is also extremely strong of you for staying.

When I couldn’t live for myself, I put myself in the shoes of characters in different shows, and I lived for them.

In those shows, I was able to see how many people loved them and needed them here and that gave me hope. They were so important, and that gave me hope. They were happy, and that gave me hope.

They encouraged me to stay. I am encouraging you to stay.

I finished two shows in the past few weeks and their endings left me heartbroken. The past few weeks, the past few months, days, have been difficult and honestly yes I have thought about harming myself.

That’s why I have applied use to my two most important coping skills. (Well, after homework and studying obviously.) I have been devouring and jumping into the show “Making a Murderer” and I have been coloring.

Thank you so much for listening to my ranting.

My last word is: Stay.