MARCH 1: Self-Injury Awareness Day

Today is Self-Injury Awareness day

I want to do something special, but I can’t think of anything. So I’m going to make up an informational document for friends and family members who don’t know how to talk with their child/friend about this issue.

Here is some information regarding self-injury. This is for parents, friends or anyone who suspects their loved one is engaging in these behaviors and wants to know more about self-injury...
 

Common methods are:

•   Skin cutting (70-90%)
• Head banging or hitting (21-44%)
• Burning (15-35%)
•  Others include:

o   Carving

o   Excessive scratching to the point of bleeding

o   Intentionally preventing wounds from healing

o   Punching self or objects

o   Infecting oneself

o   Inserting objects into body openings

o   Drinking something harmful

o   Breaking bones purposefully

Self-injury research 15-20 % of adolescents report some form of self-injury. Studies show that college students are at a higher risk with 17-35%.

By engaging in self –injury a person intends to: 

         -Obtain relief from a negative feeling or mental state

        - Resolve an interpersonal difficulty like a disagreement with a friend or loved one deal with an       interpersonal problem like boredom, induce a positive feeling state

Warning signs:
·       Unexplained frequent injuries including cuts and burns
·      Low self-esteem
·      Trouble having
·      Difficulty handling feelings
·      Relationship problems or avoidance of relationships
·      Poor functioning at work, school, or home
·      Arms and legs are always covered such as wearing cold weather clothes such as long sleeves and   pants in warm weather

There are many treatment facilities available for people who self-harm:
·      SAFE Alternatives
o   1-800-DONTCUT (1-800-366-8288)
·      Timberline Knolls
o   1-877-848-0990

Some frequently asked questions… answered by the website for SAFE Alternatives

1.     For someone who is discovering and seeing that someone they care about is hurting themselves- it can be very scary, alarming, distressing. What would you say to these people? And what can they do to help the self-injurer?

a.     The first thing to recognize is that the self-injurer is not “crazy.” They are trying to cope and survive in the best way they know how. It is important for family to take the behavior seriously, but anger and hysterics are COUNTER productive. It’s important to keep the lines of communication open. Parents and friends should not be the therapist, it is helpful for self-injurers to have someone to talk to who can truly help them to identify the problem and learn a healthier ways of responding.

2.     Why do kids self-injure?

a.     There are a number of reasons, the most common is internal emotional regulation; that is, either stop intensive and uncomfortable feeling states, or to “feel something” when numbed. It can also be used to communicate feelings or needs to others and perhaps even to impact the behavior of others (stop parents from fighting, stop a boyfriend or girlfriend from leaving, etc.)

3.     If a parent discovers that a child is self-injuring are there certain things that the parents SHOULD NOT do? For instance, is a parent’s reaction important? Can certain reactions to the behavior actually cause harm?

a.     A parents reaction is very important

                                      i.     Parents should not react with intensity

                                     ii.     Threats and rewards are rarely effective

                                   iii.     Do not ask, “Why are you doing this to me?” or even, “Why do you do that?”

4.     How important is professional therapy?

a.     If you know or suspect that the child continues to injure, a professional assessment can be helpful. It is important to realize that the injury itself is often and attempt to “solve” a problem. A therapist can help determine if the child is experiencing some underlying issue that they themselves don’t know how to identify or talk about.

Myths about self-harm

·      People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.

o   Generally people self-harm, do it in secret. They are not trying to manipulate others to draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help.

·      People who cut and self-injure are crazy and dangerous

o   It is true that people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness. Self-injury can be used as a coping skill, an unhealthy one.

·      People who self-injure want to die

o   People who self-injure usually do not want to die. They are not trying to kill themselves—they are trying to cope with their problems and pain. People who self-harm have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why it is important to seek help.

·      If the wounds aren’t bad, it’s not that serious

o   The severity of a person’s wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Don’t assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there’s nothing to worry about.

 If YOU engage in self-injurious behaviors, here is some information for you:

I want you to know that this will affect your life forever. Once you begin engaging in these behaviors there is no turning back. I could go on and on about how horrible self-injury is…. but you’ve already heard it.

“Put the blade down.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You’re going to have to wear long sleeves all the time.”

“Everyone is going to judge you.”
“You’re going to ruin your life.”

“You are going to have more scars.”

“You will disappoint everyone.”

“You’re not just hurting yourself but you’re hurting me.”

“You ruined my life.”

“Cutting will kill you.”

“I’m ashamed to be your (insert relationship term here).”

“How could you do this to me?”

I could go on and on.. But I’m not going to. You know how difficult it is to hear these things come out of the mouth of someone you love. It’s hard to see people who once loved you so much exit your life because it, “hurts them too much.” They say they love you so much you have to exit your life. The one’s who say they will stay, always leave.

That makes you feel even worse about yourself. Which makes you want to self-harm even more. Impulses come and we try to stay as strong as we can… but sometimes I just want to self-harm and I will do anything or use anything to self-harm.

Here are some things you can do to be proactive in your struggle:

• 1.     If you have no desire to stop hurting yourself then there is nothing anyone can do to help you. You have to want to get better to actually start getting better.
• 2.     Confide in someone, whether that be a parent, a trusted adult, or a friend/sibling.
• 3.     Most of the time when you confide in someone they are either going to tell your parents or an authority figure.
• 4.     Be ready to receive help
• a.     For me it started with therapy, then I went to see a psychiatrist to get on meds, then outpatient treatment at a hospital, then a residential treatment facility, then inpatient at a hospital
• 5.     It’s going to be hard to accept the fact that you do need help, but once you do you’ll be thankful; you’ll have your life back. It won’t be the same as before, but it will be better than being sick.

S   Sources:  

        (Mental Health America)

 (SAFE Alternatives)

 (Timberline Knolls)

 (Helpguide.org)

KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED... IF YOU CAN'T STOP FOR YOURSELF, DO IT FOR SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU.