SAFE Assignment 1

Over the next 15 days, I am going to share my assignments that I completed during my time at S.A.F.E. Alternatives. Over the length of my 40-day stay, one of our requirements for graduation was to complete 15 writing assignments. These are very intimate to me because I wrote them when I was at my lowest, but I do feel like I need to share them because they could help someone looking for a sign.

Assignment 1: How do I see myself?

1. Emotionally I am unstable. One minute I could be happy and joyful and like the next second I could be angry as heck. I have a lot of emotional mood swings and it sucks. Intellectually I am very intelligent. Right now I am taking advanced chemistry, advanced Spanish, AP US history, advanced algebra 2, social justice and acting 1. I had to drop advanced chemistry to regular chemistry and AP US history to regular US history to come here and keep up with schoolwork. I have a cumulative GPA OF 3,87. So that’s really good. I am a good friend: honest, loyal, trustworthy, caring, loving, respectful, and kind. I put others needs before myself because I care about other people more.

2. My roles as a teenager and student are to go to school, do homework, go to soccer practice, do homework and study and spend time with my friends. As a daughter my role is to be respectful to my parents and loving and help around the house. As a sister to be a support form my younger siblings. Right now I feel like a pretty crappy role model for them. I am comfortable with my roles sometimes I just get annoyed with them.

3. My strengths are:

Builds others up

Good listener

Good catholic

Good morals/beliefs

Good characteristics

Strong

Athletic

Friendly

4. My weaknesses are:

Self image

Rude

 Bully

Annoying 

5. Want to change how I cope with things and I need thicker skin and I need to view myself as a smart, independent, beautiful young female soccer player J (There was actually a smiley face on the page) I just need help feeling okay with myself. I would never change my hair, eyes, hands, and how I’m a loving and humble and compassionate person.

I honestly don’t know what to say to this. I’m going to be completely honest…  I think I was lying on this assignment. I knew everything I was supposed to say to get through the day. I knew that I had to fake it. I faked it so I could pass that assignment and move on to the next one.

Today, Intellectually I’m totally fine. I’m able to attend all of my classes and get all of my schoolwork done.  

But I would say that emotionally I’m still extremely unstable. I would actually say I’m an emotional wreck, but I'm so good at hiding it. Over they years I've learned what to say and how to act in order for everyone to believe it. 

Even though my emotions are a mess and I'm on the bipolar rollercoaster, I am 3 days clean! 

Baby steps.