Assignment 3
Alright guys, this blog isn’t very kind to my dad. But you
need to remember that this was written four years ago when I was in treatment
and pissed at both of my parents for “throwing me away.” (That’s one of the
reasons why I didn’t choose my mom for my female role model.)
I was encouraged to do my dad, so that’s whom I’m going
to do.
He is bald with glasses, big tummy and short. I have only
ever seen him cry once and so I think he is emotionally strong. Well
spiritually, he goes to church and prays with us, but I really don’t know about
his relationship with God.
Sometimes his behavior influences me positively. I guess
when we’re all like hanging out and having a good time, my dad is very funny
and a good guy. But other times he can take a joke too far and I will voice my
disagreement and he’ll kinda just disregard it. He also likes to make racial
slurs and jokes about my eating disorder or self-harming. That is really hard
to deal with because when he says stuff like that it just makes me have more
impulses.
Like I said, sometimes I can feel happy and other times
depressed and like pretty much I can feel anything when I’m with him.
Disgusted, depressed, and like bored, interested, anxious, annoyed, joyful. It
really just depends on the setting, who’s there and what we are talking about.
He hasn’t reacted very well to it, like most parents. But he
doesn’t understand me or what I’m dealing with or why I do it. It just
frustrates me some of the comments he says and how he thinks I can just
magically stop.
I want him to be here for me like any other daughter wants
her dad. Sometimes I don’t really want to be around him. Other times I do. I
just really want him to understand or empathize with me. And I think we could
have a better relationship.
Today: my dad is one of my best. He took me in when my mom
pushed me out (yes, she pushed me out, I did not choose to leave). He is a
really good guy, a great boss, great friend, and great father.
So dad, if you’re reading this, thank you for everything you’ve
done for me, and accepting me when no one else did.
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